The Scenestress

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get ready to rumble!

It’s Saturday night and I’m at Stardust Event Center for the first ever Sarasota Roller Girls bout. As I wait for the match to kick off, a palpable feeling of getting ready to crush some bitches hangs in the air. I can’t wait. The MC builds anticipation with a detailed explanation of the rules of the game — something about “blockers” and “jammers” — as well as individual introductions of all the pun-tastic players on both teams. (I think “Smashley Whiplash” might be my fave.)

Sarasota is taking on the Fort Myers Derby Girls this evening, and gossip around the track is that Fort Myers expects an easy win over the newbies from SRQ. Nevertheless, the Roller Girls look primed and pumped. I’ve got my beer and found a spot in the “suicide seats” — the first ring of seating, just three feet from the boundaries of the track — when the girls take off at the whistle. The crowd erupts in cheers as these skating divas shove and skate their way ’round the room.

In between oooohs and ohhhs as roller girls crash to the floor, I learn a little bit more about game play. Those blockers I mentioned earlier? They’re the pack of ladies who cluster together to try to stop the jammers from breaking through and scoring a point each time they do so. I think it’s great that there is a place for women of all shapes and sizes in the roller derby world: The jammers tend to be lithe and little, while your front-line blockers are more substantial in size, with everyone else filling in the spots in between.

Let us not forget the opportunity for fashion fun, with each of the skaters on both sides rocking a completely custom look in their team colors. The Sarasota girls brought it with fabulous little skirts and spankies over fishnets or tights in stripes, stars and polka dots, always in hot pink or badass black. But can the cutie booties carry the bout? Despite their determination and drive, Sarasota loses 182 to 61, but team founder Redneck Ophelia is thrilled with the point spread. “I thought it would be a lot bigger!” she tells me happily.

I take the opportunity to ask Redneck about her team’s relationship with the Bradentucky Bombers, the first area derby team, after hearing whisperings about a rivalry between the two groups. She admits the relationship is “a little strained” (Redneck left the Bombers to form the Sarasota team just three months ago), but that ultimately “we all still support each other.” In fact around 20 of the Bradenton team members showed up tonight. Sounds like it’s just enough of a rivalry to keep things interesting, and I’m glad to hear that for the sake of the upcoming 2010 Roller Girl bouts. Get ’em girls!

(photo courtesy Rich Schineller)